The Women Before Us Didn’t Talk About It

There’s this unspoken pressure that so many women carry to just… push through.

Push through the exhaustion.
Push through the overstimulation.
Push through the anxiety.
Push through motherhood, careers, relationships, caregiving, leadership, expectations, guilt, and the constant feeling that we are being pulled in twenty different directions at once.

And somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that accepting help somehow meant we weren’t strong enough.

Help from a parent.
Help from a sibling.
Help from a nanny.
Help from a therapist.
Help from medication.

I truly believe we are living in this “in between” era where older generations, and even some within our own generation, still carry a stigma around mental health, therapy, and medications for anxiety or depression. So many people were raised believing you simply “deal with it,” “push through,” or “toughen up.”

But our generation has this beautiful opportunity to change that narrative.

We get to remove the labels.
We get to normalize asking for help.
We get to teach our children that mental wellness deserves the same care and attention as physical wellness.

And honestly? I think that’s one of the most important shifts happening right now.

Studies constantly talk about how millennial dads are becoming more involved, emotionally present parents. Imagine how lucky our children are because of that. Now imagine how lucky our grandchildren will be when those involved fathers become involved grandfathers.

The same thing is happening with women.

Women are breaking barriers in leadership, business, and entrepreneurship every single day. And while we celebrate that progress, it’s important to remember that it really wasn’t that long ago that women weren’t even allowed to vote.

Think about the path we are paving for our daughters and granddaughters.
Think about the conversations they may never have to whisper about because we decided to say them out loud.

I advocate for women and mental health constantly because I’ve seen the stigma up close far too many times.

After having three children of my own, I experienced the emotional rollercoaster that postpartum depression and anxiety can bring. And what stands out to me the most is this: not once did anyone truly prepare me for it.

Not once did someone genuinely sit me down and say:
“Hey… your mental health matters too.”
“Hey… if you don’t feel like yourself, you deserve support.”
“Hey… you are allowed to ask for help.”

Fast forward beyond the baby years, and women are still carrying the weight of everything. We’re raising children and teenagers, navigating marriages and careers, supporting aging parents, managing homes, showing up for everyone else, and often slowly losing pieces of ourselves along the way.

Far too often, I hear women say:
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

And honestly, that angers me. Because there are lifelines out there.

Counseling is a lifeline.
Medication can be a lifeline.
Support systems are lifelines.

Women can get themselves back to a place where they feel like themselves again.

This topic hits close to home for me because I don’t just personally struggle with anxiety, I’ve watched people I deeply love struggle too. I’ve watched close friends spend years denying that they may benefit from help, only to finally accept it and slowly regain their joy, identity, peace, and ability to fully enjoy motherhood and life again.

One of the most common things I hear is:
“My family doesn’t believe in medicating for anxiety.”

Or:
“Wouldn’t it be weak to cover up my symptoms with medication?”

And my response is usually this:

If someone with asthma deserves an inhaler, or someone with high blood pressure deserves medication to stabilize their body, why wouldn’t someone struggling with anxiety deserve support that helps stabilize their mind?

Another fear I hear often is:
“I’m afraid that if I start medication, I’ll never be able to come off of it.”

And honestly? Maybe you won’t.

Because there probably won’t be a day when you wake up after years of finally feeling like yourself again and say:
“You know what? I think I should stop the thing that helped me become a better version of myself.”

Life keeps evolving.

We raise kids.
We build careers.
We experience loss.
We navigate menopause.
We become caregivers.
We carry invisible mental loads every single day.

Accepting support for your mental health is not a weakness. Its strength. It’s self-awareness. It’s advocacy for yourself and the people you love.

I never push medication on anyone. But I do speak openly about how much it has helped save me.

It has helped me become a better mother.
A better wife.
A better friend.
A better leader.
A better mentor.
And most importantly, a better version of myself.

If you’re navigating this journey, here’s what I always tell people:

Work with professionals you trust. Your primary care doctor or OBGYN may absolutely help you get started, but when medications become more layered or symptoms evolve, having a great psychiatrist in your corner can make a huge difference.

Couple medication with counseling whenever possible. Medication can help stabilize what I often call the “gaps” or “imbalances,” but therapy helps build the tools we need to actually navigate life, reset our nervous systems, handle overstimulation, communicate better, and learn how to care for ourselves.

Stay open-minded. Mental health is not static. What works during one season of life may need adjusting during another. That is normal. That is healthy. And there should never be shame in revisiting what you need.

And finally, find your person.

Find someone you can be honest with. Someone you can celebrate progress with, but also someone you can call when things feel hard, and you’re not sure things are working yet.

And if you don’t have that person yet, I’ll gladly be that voice reminding you that asking for help does not make you weak.

It makes you human.